Tuesday, November 18, 2014

RealTalk: Love - What is it?

I’ve been overwhelmed the past couple of days with the definition of love. Love is such a subjective concept and I call it a concept for that exact reason. As most of my friends and I are young adults, trying to find our way in the world, we sometimes can’t help thinking about our future life partners. Overwhelmed with hashtagged weddings, elaborately decorated celebrations, juxtaposed with the failed marriages that come to light soon after those grand events, these discussions come hand in hand with the discussion of love. What is it, and how does one maintain it?  

My mains and I have completely different ideas on love, relationships and how they should work. Seeing as we have all been raised by different people who have gone through their own life experiences, that is perfectly natural. Because we all have different opinions, it again highlights that there is no one way, or right way.

So what is love in the context of a relationship? In my opinion, love is the complete unconditional acceptance of another person. To give a few examples, you accept their strengths, weaknesses, flaws, fears, hopes and dreams.

I have realized that more often than not, we forget that people change over time, the man you love today might be completely different in the next few months, or next few years. Love dictates that you will accept him as he presents himself to you regardless of how he might have changed. The reason why we generally run into difficulty is that we get so used to a person being a certain way, that when they change you need to learn to accept them all over again. Not only that, but there might be tastes, values, opinions or personality traits you might not see coming. Further, you are going to have to realign those changes with your ‘self’, which also changes over time. In a sense, you choose to fall in love with that person again. 

Why did I just say choose? I ran into an amazing saying a few weeks ago, it stated that you cannot help who your attracted to, but you do choose who you love. Scientifically speaking, when we are attracted to someone, our body releases certain chemicals that cause us to feel, act and think in a certain way. We don’t consciously tell our body to release those chemicals we just do it, naturally! That sounds amazing doesn’t it? However, why is it that the case is different when it comes to love? Why is it that people say they are no longer ‘in love’? That is because often times we mistake attraction, or sexual tension for love. Love as already depicted earlier in article goes much deeper than just surface attraction. It is about the complete acceptance of another person. This crosses physical barriers into the emotional, and mental. Which although still involving chemicals, it is controlled by our conscious thought. Therein lies the key difference. We choose to say yes, to be married to this one person for the rest of our lives. We choose to say yes to the fact that when things go wrong, we will stay by their side. That is a major commitment that should not be taken lightly.

I believe (myself included), that we are guilty of allowing the media (books, movies, series, adverts) to affect our perception of love. It is depicted generally speaking, as either love at first sight, or love during a weekend, that involved some trial that was overcome. Or it was a whirlwind romance, that ended in tragedy. These movies are created to entertain. Whilst they make us feel all giddy and inspired inside, they do nothing to help us with the real world. In my opinion, more often than not, that concept of love does not exist, if it does, it does not last, and even then, only very few people have been able to attain it, especially in the 21st century with our changing morals, perceptions, technological advances and various other distractions.

Therefore, as much as love can mean different things to different people, something has been made very clear to me - love is a major commitment. If people focus on the fact that love is a choice, they will realise when the chips are down that they chose to love this person, to be with this person, to share a life with this person, and they might just try a little harder to make things work.

All pictures are taken from Google. Georgette Monnou reserves no rights to the images used. 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

#BlogTag: 20 Things About Georgette!

Hey guys!

Recently, I was tagged by Ediyemade to reveal twenty facts about myself. I did a similar post for the Sunflower Blogger Award not too long ago, you can view it here. However Ediyemade gave me an offer I could not refuse. I love being asked questions, so I’m uber excited to share more about myself. 

Here we go!  
  1. I love God, and appreciate the love He has shown me over the past 21 years. I am by no means a perfect person, but I aim to be more like Him.
  2. My family is everything to me.
  3. I love music. I mentioned it in the last post but it is that important to me. These days I have realized how much music is a huge part of my life. I listen to music everyday! It’s also the main reason I love to dance.
  4. People think its weird when I say this, but when I dance, it’s the music that moves me. I move according to the beat, to dance moves I have practiced before at home, or seen people do in the village, or girls at school when growing up.
  5. I adore dogs, I hate cats. There is something about cats that I really don’t like. I have had about three dogs in my lifetime, all of whom taught me how to love, how to care for a defenseless being, and how to train (almost like raising kids).
  6. I look exactly like my mum did when I was her age. So dear future husband, take a look at your mother in law, she will be what your wife will look like 40 years from now. Haha!
  7. I detest it when people take my friendliness for granted.
  8. I am a very passionate person. Passion is what started this blog two years ago and it is what allows it to continue to thrive. I have been told that I do everything with passion: speak, dance and make decisions based on it. Every time someone says that to me, it makes my heart smile – because it is truly who I am.
  9. I am an excellent multitasker. Anyone who has been around me will tell you. I am involved in a wide range of projects almost all of the time. Sometimes self–development related, work, or University related.
  10. I love to keep myself busy. I cannot stand not having something to do. Being challenged in different ways makes me really happy. It gives me a huge sense of achievement.  
  11. I am in love with love. MASSIVE romantic. But it is unfortunate that the love depicted in the movies doesn’t exist. Alas the real world beckons…
  12. I have realized today I should not drink tea before bed, it keeps me awake! (How silly, I am such a muppet sometimes).
  13. I have become more fitness conscious and I love it! A few weekends ago I ran for 40 minutes from one end of Central London to the other. I was beyond proud. 
  14. There is nothing I detest more than people not answering my texts in a timely manner. It is so infuriating! *Take note*
  15. If you want me to love you eternally, buy me a pair of heels. I love, love, love ‘em! I currently have over thirty pairs! *Covers face*
  16. My next big purchase will either be a pair of Loubs to add to my shoe collection or a new belt.
  17. I love writing. It allows me to express myself. Check out some of my Guest Posts here, here, and here.
  18. Friends are a huge part of my life. They are with me every step of the way. My mains mean so much to me.
  19. Food, glorious food! I love to cook, I love to eat, and I take it very seriously, haha! One of my favorite ways to bond with people is over a hearty meal somewhere nice, or in the comfort of my home.
  20. I love Hillsong Church. If you want to go to a place that teaches you more about God’s love in a contemporary and fun way – that’s the place to go on Sunday!